Published: May 01. 2010 2:00AM

By Sybil Davis
CONTRIBUTING WRITER

It seems that every time we turn on the TV these days, we hear someone saying “I’m sorry.” We also are reading in newspapers and magazines about a lot of apologies from celebrities, corporate executives and politicians. I don’t know about you, but when I hear someone begin an apology with “If I have hurt or offended anyone …,” that opening statement kills the remainder of the apology for me.

The apology should address the reason for saying “I’m sorry” without the “if” coming into the picture. It should be fairly obvious that if an apology is in order, someone already has been hurt or offended in some way or another. The “if” only leads one to believe that the person making an apology is not convinced that he or she really did or said anything wrong.

Saying “I’m sorry” and truly meaning it requires one to take full responsibility for hurting or offending someone. Even if you accidentally bump into someone while you are rushing to make it to your next appointment you should take the time to look the other person in the eye and sincerely say “I’m sorry.” Just a mumble as you continue walking will not get the job done, and while you may be quick to forget the incident, you can rest assured that the other person will not be. As a matter of fact, the next time that person sees you, he or she will remember how rude you were and that you only mumbled a poor excuse for an apology.

Chances are we can all remember times when someone did or said something that was hurtful or offensive to us and did not take the time to apologize or even acknowledge the incident. These are things that we never forget. Often they are not monumental but they forever leave that question in our minds about the character of the person who never apologized.

Saying “I’m sorry” does not have to be so hard, but it does need to come from the heart. We are usually seeking forgiveness for having wronged someone when we offer that sincere apology, even though we are not guaranteed that forgiveness. It does, however, ease some of the pain in our hearts when we know that someone truly forgives us after a sincere apology.

Sidebar:

“Apologies that are real can also lead to learning from mistakes so that another apology is never needed.” — Byron Pulsifer